Hello World! –Super Hot Filipina Maid from the Nation of Nannies

Hay naku. Instead of griping over how Filipinas are today known as the world’s maids, japayukis and mail-order brides, or how Filipinas lack pride and self-respect, and all that, what about celebrating our traits, for a change?

I’ve been to many parts of this country and one thing I can tell you about the Pinay in any of these parts: she is so funny.

Just look at our politics, at what goes on at the “august halls” of Congress – it’s an eternal carnival, a circus, a carousel—turning ’round and ’round and yet everything really stays the same. (hopefully not). Watch this:

(In 2007, the daughter of then President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo turned the tables on her accuser and claims that whistleblower Joey de Venecia, son of the sacked House Speaker, brain may have been damaged by marijuana use.)

http://www.gmanews.tv/evideo/11904/luli-arroyo-lashes-out-vs-joey-de-venecia

Bwahahahaha. What drug use? Pinoys use SUGAR, not marijuana. Same effect, larger doses needed.

Yeah sugar. It really must be all that sugar: One tablespoon added to the milo energy drink, two heaping spoons full into the cup of coffee. Or sprinkled on top of bread ala maruya, or with coconut to top off sticky sweet rice cakes. Panutsa on taho. Or sugar in your meat: marinated to make sweet ham, tocino. Hell, there’s even sugar in your spaghetti, like nowhere else in the world.

Who needs marijuana when there’s sugar?

That, and the bananas are enough to keep us up, up and about.

So what if we end up cleaning other people’s toilet bowls, or teaching children other than ours so that our incomes could support the 10 other families back home?

Is that something to be ashamed of? Or is that heroic?

Baseco, Tondo slums on a placid night photographed by Geo Olaya

Try living in a place like that, and if you can still laugh – everyday and heartily too – well kudos to you!

And what of all those children being raised by Pinoy nannies? Well, they may learn to speak English with a distinctly Ilonggo accent, but won’t they also imbibe that light, bubbly, ever-hopeful attitude towards life, that resilience in the face of tremendous difficulties–?

Pinay maids should demand for higher pay because of that specific skill set, ha! We take humor for granted, but is really so hard pala to come by. Check out my German friends, who look like this:

Street art photographed by Pie Crew

Yes, we are the funniest people on earth, believe me.

Dig this:

Secondhand bedsheets for sale in an open Philippine market.

And this is even better:

Beleaguered ex-President as RealDoll?

Had enough? Here’s something I got from relatives abroad:

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn’t Be a Filipino-American US President

  • 10.  The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.
  • 9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW , and an MPV (My Pinoy Van).
  • 8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.
  • 7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House – where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?
  • 6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold that giant wooden spoon and fork.
  • 5. Secret Service staff won’t respond to “psst… psst” or ‘hoy….hoy. ..hoy…’
  • 4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.
  • 3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.
  • 2. State dinners do not allow “Take Home”

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN’T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN U.S. PRESIDENT IS…

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!

The ubiquitous Balikbayan box!

Now here’s the advertisement portion:

“Hello, Garci?” Jokebook

Filipinos like to think that they can laugh at anything, and however much they put themselves down, they believe that their sense of humor is not only a defining national trait but also their saving grace. This book is a collection of contemporary political humor and is made up largely of jokes forwarded from one cellphone to another.
Also included in the collection is a sampling of political humor from websites and blogs. Price: 190 Philippine pesos.

ORDER NOW at:

http://www.pcij.org/blog/2005/11/22/hello-garci-jokebook

Seriously, we are becoming a cradle of noble nannies.

And for those fatally attracted to life’s darker side, read this:

Ghosts of Manila by James Hamilton-Paterson, reclusive genius whose nipa hut I have yet to find.

More about the book:
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/book-review–gouging-out-hells-entrails-ghosts-of-manila–james-hamiltonpaterson-jonathan-cape-pounds-1499-1420229.html

More on the author, really, a Philippine rare bird:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2004/jun/05/featuresreviews.guardianreview8